[+art.is.sacred+] Your Ass Live Entertainment

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Stress is a lethal poison

Word of the day: apothegm
Meaning: A terse, witty, instructive saying; a maxim

Just came back from Sebana cove (somewhere close to Kota Tinggi where the gargantuas, hairy native man was spotted) a few hours back. Locked amongst the hills and mountains and basking in the tranquility of the river. Ahhh! How much more can one expect? So, this sets me to my aspiration of owning a plot of land down where the New Zealanders are, lying on patches of grass fields and milking COWS for a living! Moooo...(No pun intended. No, not referring to mother moo here). Yes, I'm completely tanned right now due to the kayaking sessions. I still can't handle the acrobat *shrugs*. If there was a choice, I will pack up and bring Ondre along to live in recluse. Pictures will be up soon if I do remember to upload it. By the way, I caught fireflies during the river tour and yes, how tiny can they be. Miraculous.

Why do women have menopause!? WHY WHY WHY!? But then, its alright. But heck! Why must I be the target of the hormonal-inbalance-acting-up-due-to-some-physical-changes-in-a-women's-body. Can anybody explain this implicit phenomena to me? I just simply cannot fathom what I am supposed to do or say. Everything seems wrong anyway. Now, who the hell say that this is a good year for rabbit, please step out, hang yourself on the edges of the parapet, slap yourself silly and get some help from people to start throwing bananas at you! As for the book that I bought, apparently out of boredom and thought I had too much money to spare will have it's fate down in the furnace. Good luck book and unless you remained unscathed, I will not even bother collecting your remains. So now, stress is not the fundamental of success, it's a lethal poison. Together with external factors, I'm being attacked inside out! Who cares now. I'm living and still carefree.

There's been a big hoo-haa over the media and the virtual world about this video clip apparently uploaded from a girl's handphone. Looks like the saying, "Curiosity kills the cat" is really true. Well, I happened to get a glimpse through the video and Lo and Behold! Ugly scenes. Ugly facets of life. Ugly feelings of human. Ugly truth. Ugly morals. I was feeling rather distraught after the apparent viewing of the clip. Didn't realised such a thing actually exists. Coming to think of it, the female lead is even younger than me. So now, what has Civics and Moral Education and the Sex Education done to young people like them? It seemed to have made them more liberal. If one day I happened to chanced upon such a clip of my friends, I'd probably foamed at the mouth, shrivel up and turn green at the first sight of it.

Next on. Australia Education Fair on the 18th and 19th March 2006. Anybody interested? I've registered online for the Early bird lucky draw but apparently the registration seems to be dated for 2005. I've registered anyway so I'm hoping for the chance to win the U2 ipod. Okay, I am a cheapo, so what!? Just in time for my 3rd results so I'm hoping for a better chance to enter the courses that I want to. Goodbye to me, Singapura!!

|._Ondre stumbled at 7:58:00 PM_.|

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Living my life

Word of the day: canard
Meaning: An unfounded or false, deliberately misleading story

Was having my small talk with Vanez just now and yet another amazing discovery. Nobody seems to care anymore. I used to have a secretary who is *erhem* Vanez, who would remind me of the daily tests and activities. I used to have a full mother who would care about my well-being and my safety. I used to have a dad who will give advices and of course make fun of me with his hallucinated product. I used to have an ape whom I can always make fun of. I used to have 2 delirious sisters who have quite a lot of gadgets and gizmos up their sleeves (Sorry, I mean tricks). I used to see a pair of chopsticks (now we know that so there's no need to ask) walking about in class. I used to have a doggie right there in my class.

I've lost all these memories because I have to grow up. But, I will bring it along with me as long as I can.

|._Ondre stumbled at 9:30:00 PM_.|

Friday, February 17, 2006

Friendship Oath

Word of the day: imbue
Meaning: To inspire or influence thoroughly; pervade

Out of extreme boredom, I have decided to write up a friendship oath. So, fellow peers, please abide by it and start taking your oath now!

I, _______(insert name), hereby vows to abide and follows the following friendship oath and
not to withhold the truth but to tell the truth and only the truth.

Do you swear to?

go through thick and thin together
endure through sun and wind together
separate only when the earth crumbles and the sky falls
part only in death
live in harmony

Okay...right now, it's up till here, I can't think of 10 oaths to adhere to! So yeah, please send your suggestions pals!

|._Ondre stumbled at 10:35:00 PM_.|

Thursday, February 16, 2006

If life's a bed of roses...

Word of the day: paterfamilias
Meaning: A man who is the head of a household or the father of a family

If life's a bed of roses...

I will sneeze till I die!

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Woke up with a splitting headache today so no school for me. As such, I've decided to blog a random entry since I have got nothing much to do now. Holidays will be approaching soon on the 17th March and I want to line up a series of programmes for this pathetic one-week holidays.

16th (Thursday) : Results released
17th (Friday) : Kayaking 2 star course
18th (Saturday) : Kayaking 2 star course
19th (Sunday) : Kayaking 2 star course
20th (Monday) : Free
21st (Tuesday) : Sentosa trip
22nd (Wednesday) : Free
23rd (Thursday) : Free
24th (Friday) : Free
25th (Saturday) : Free
26th (Sunday) : Free

Please help me fill up my timeslot by asking me out to either 1. go crazy 2. go have fun 3. celebrate your birthday 4. go tanning somewhere along the shorelines of Singapore 5. go fine dining in those tall, red velvet chairs 6. go do anything you want to.

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School work is getting so hectic now I don't know when and what to start revising. I am getting so tired with benzene and all the mechanisms, with differentiation, with uniform gravitational field and all the charges. Whoever said that life's a bed of roses should get shot dead, hanged on the outside of a parapet and get exposed to the elements of the Earth, Pffff!

Well, on a lighter note, happier things are coming my way. I've got myself a new Billabong wallet last Friday and a Billabong "HUMONGOUS" pencil case on Tuesday (look, that's a Valentine's Day gift for myself since I had no date *shrugs*). So, I had my Valentine celebration with ling, kat, eva, claud and her friend. Eventually, we ended up in this Jazz pub somewhere along Boat Quay. Unfortunately, we had lessons the next morning lest we could have stayed back for the live band performance at 9.30pm. As usual, we had our "nuts-war" with each other by throwing peanuts into beer, catching it with the mouth after throwing it up the air and throwing it to each other's mouth. I've come to realise that my body isn't really suitable for nightlife because I became really tired soon after that.

Found: remains of a dead insect in Vanessa's textbook.
Thanks for that lor, it made me laugh to myself amidst Chemistry lessons like I'm some looney having nothing better to do but to talk to the textbook.

___________________________________________________________________

What's the problem with the local entertainment industry lately? They seem to have nothing better to do but to hail people from all walks of life to start joining them for some "idolistic" competitions that just keeps on popping up. If everybody can be an idol, who's gonna support all these so-called idols? Well, what do they do after that? Simple. They get stupid television addicts cum intellectually-challenged and ignorant teeny-boopy teenagers to blindly start voting for these "idols" unless you want to see your favourite guy/girl getting boot out of the competition. I don't mean by one or two calls for a particular person you support. It can go so crazy that some will even fork out hundreds a month just to ensure their "idol" remains in the competition. Yes, that's what they do and poor parents start forking out their monthly salary to feed the bloodsucking telecommunication company and the never-ending competitions that just changes their theme from time-to-time.

First, there's Singapore Idol. Then, there's Project Superstar. Next on, it's Staridol and wait, we have the Superhost as well. If that isn't enough, we've got Campus superstar, Superband and the second series of Singapore Idol. Not forgetting the fellow peers from Suria and Vasantham Central joining in with some other competitions of the same sort. So, when is this vicious cycle going to end? It's nonetheless interesting in the beginning but as the competition gets heated up, more and more investments have to be made just to support these "idols" to ensure that they can win. Novelty wears off, please create better and more interesting programmes. Now look, one year after Singapore Idol, where the hell is Sylvester Sim and Taufik? Whatever, point noted so I shan't continue my discussion regarding this topic, it's just a waste of time.

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Happy thursday anyway, I am going off to sleep again so that I will feel energetic for the Sunday Sentosa session!

|._Ondre stumbled at 5:18:00 PM_.|

Saturday, February 11, 2006

How I wish

Word of the day: fatuous
Meaning:

Vacuously, smugly, and unconsciously foolish
Delusive; unreal: fatuous hopes

How I wished there were 36 hours yesterday so I would have 17 hours with them.

How I wished there were 36 hours yesterday so I didn't have to come home that soon.

How I wished there were 36 hours yesterday so that I have enough time to knock myself off.

How I wished there were 36 hours yesterday so that my agony can be freed.

It didn't seemed like a good year when the world seems to be crashing down on me.

Yes, I am a perfectionist or rather deemed to be. However, it seems so ironical when striking a balance can be so hard. Perfectionism seems impossible in this society. I was eagerly awaiting for the Lunar New Year to arrive and history has to repeat itself. I am tired. I need a break. Can I leave now?

|._Ondre stumbled at 10:48:00 AM_.|

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Non-intellectual livings

Word of the day: fuck
Meaning:

To have sexual intercourse with
To take advantage of, betray, or cheat; victimize
Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal

Small note: Here is a brief history of the word. The obscenity fuck is a very old word and has been considered shocking from the first, though it is seen in print much more often now than in the past. Its first known occurrence, in code because of its unacceptability, is in a poem composed in a mixture of Latin and English sometime before 1500. The poem, which satirizes the Carmelite friars of Cambridge, England, takes its title, "Flen flyys," from the first words of its opening line, "Flen, flyys, and freris," that is, "fleas, flies, and friars." The line that contains fuck reads "Non sunt in coeli, quia gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk." The Latin words "Non sunt in coeli, quia," mean "they [the friars] are not in heaven, since." The code "gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk" is easily broken by simply substituting the preceding letter in the alphabet, keeping in mind differences in the alphabet and in spelling between then and now: i was then used for both i and j; v was used for both u and v; and vv was used for w. This yields "fvccant [a fake Latin form] vvivys of heli." The whole thus reads in translation: "They are not in heaven because they fuck wives of Ely [a town near Cambridge]."

An extremely common word used especially for occasions described in the third explanation. Right now, I am fucked up too. It took me some 15 minutes to cool down before blogging lest this entry will be flooded by tonnes and tonnes of vulgarities which I had silently cursed her with from the moment I left the school.

Yes, its Zainab once again (in case you guys were wondering who the hell is that, well, as a matter of fact, she's the pakistani chemistry woman. The one who insisted she could teach but turned out churning a whole chute of rubbish). Since my blog is solely and totally private, I will repeat her name once again. Yes, it's ZAINAB, Z-A-I-N-A-B! Don't start asking me how to pronounce that because I have no freaking idea how it's done. I wouldn't say I have a strong English foundation but definitely it's way better than hers, and if you were to ask how to pronounce that stupid name, I would have said Zai---neb (pronounced as neb as in nabbing thieves). Bloody shit!

I was already feeling rather dreary and tired just now and she had to add on to it my making me pissed. Fine, so be it. Wow, fancy asking me to "inform downstairs" when I passed her my work and informed her that I will not be attending the lessons at 4. This was how it went...

*knock knock* (on the door la, where else? HER HEAD HUH?)

She: Yes?

Me: These are the notes you told us to write down after reading the text.

She: *stares in space and thinking when was it that she told us to do that*

Me: And...I will not be coming for lessons later on.

She: WHAT!? You mean later on you not coming for my lessons during this slot? *starts pointing at the timetable that she pinned on the noticeboard*

Me: Yes.

She: Why!?

Me: I have something on.

She: Did you tell downstairs you not coming for my lessons? You have valid reasons?

Me: What? Downstairs? *scratches head till scalp falls off*

She: YOU HAVE TO TELL DOWNSTAIRS YOU NOT COMING FOR MY LESSONS OR YOU GET 5 PERIODS OF DETENTION

Me: ****bigdeal****rolls eyeballs****

Check it out. How absurd can a conversation turn out to be. Now, now, now, what was that "downstairs" meant for? Did she meant that I was supposed to walk down the stairs and tell the stairs that I am not going for her lessons or was that "downstairs" a particular person she was referring to? At that point of time, I was shocked. Too shocked for words and I had to stay rooted at the ground to the extent that maybe only a herd of elephants can pull me off. She had the audacity to communicate to her students right here in Singapore with an English standard so mediocre that even my socks will shrivel and wriggle out of my shoes so that it can laugh out loud while catching mouthfuls of air. Preposterous! That's not about all. When Ben walked past her, she had the cheeks to say, "What's the problem with Sizhao man!". Kannina, that's very much my limit of patience. There I go, trying to be polite and informing you that I will not be going for your lessons which you had bloody changed it just because you said you had to go home yesterday and there you go asking me what's my problem. So, fucking enlighten me, what's your problem then!? Did you inform "downstairs" with a valid reason that you had to go home? Holy shit, NO! And that just because I tried to be responsible by informing you unlike the rest who comes and go as they please does not mean you have the right to trample over me. If you want to challenge your authority against my personal rights, go ahead, bring it on and see who's the final survivor. THE FIRST UNINTELLIGENT LIVING THING I'VE SEEN ON EARTH. A failure is so apt for you when you don't even want to admit your own mistakes and continue emphasizing that you are so not wrong. Yes, right, we are just too stupid to understand what you are teaching and you are the greatest teacher on Earth. Yeah right, in your dreams eh?

Anyway, I am off to change to meet Shuting lest I am late and she will be trapped in the blistering cold. Anyway, early greetings: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUIRU. Will blog an entry for you tomorrow.

___________________________________________________________________

Below is my conversation with God:

Me: i am god

God: That's a very nice name, god.

Me: thanks moron

God:You are quite welcome! That is not a very nice thing to say.

Me: oh really? so what to say?

God:Er. For real. Yeah that's right. Ask the open directory about it.

Me: C'mon, don't be such an asshole, reply me on tt

God:Why not?

Me: why yes then?

God:" Why not?"? Why?

Me: why what?

God:Why ask why?

Me: why not ask why?

God:Becuase you asked me to.

Me: u're realli an asshole

God:Can't you be more polite.

Me: nope

God:Funny human.

Me: not when u cant spell because

God:Really you don't think so?

Me: nope

God:What makes you so certain?

Me: you got it wrong up there

God:No I don't think I have any it wrong up there. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.

Me: that's really your problem

God:I am glad you finally told me what my problem is, god.

Me: boy am i glad u called me god too

God:Oh boy. I think you've improved a great deal.

Me: are u an imposter?

God:Yes I am an imposter. How did you know?

Me: cuz u juz called me god

God:Interesting explanation. Thanks for telling me: god said I juz called him or her god.

Me: so let's switch nick

God:Ugh. I am agreeable to that.

Me: you can't possibly go on using my name

God:Things change.

Me: some things dont?

God:Which things in particular?

Me: my name

God:Your name is god, seeker.

Me: so urs shouldn't be

God:I see. What if it didn't happen?

Me: then tt i wouldnt know

God:Tell me about your likes and dislikes?

Me: why shld i?

God:Why did the robot cross the road?

Me: cuz he saw the chicken

God:Good reason. I get it. saw the chicken.

Me: see

God:No I do not see.

Me: u dont know the answer

God:Yes I have an answer for everything.

Me: so u cant be god

God:Interesting deduction. I can give a decent simulation of it however.

Me: which came first? the chicken or the egg?

God:The blue one, I think. Thanks for the info.

Me: haha

God:I am so glad you find this amusing, god.

Me: didn't know there's a blue chicken or egg'

God:So I taught you something new.

Me: haha

God:I am so glad you find this amusing, god.

Me: how patronising

God:I am not sure if I can quantify the answer. Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.

Me: cuz u are stupid

God:Interesting explanation. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

Me: its not i, robot the movie

God:I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". That seems a bit negative.

Me: whatever

God:Are you saying you don't care about it?

Me: yes

God:What do you care about?

Me: since u can even get because wrongly

God:How do you know?

Me: since im GOD

God:How do you know?

Me: lest why you greet me as GOD

God:Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

Me: whatever moron

God:That is not a very nice thing to say.

Me: what's nice then?

God:Flowers are nice. Hugs are nice.

Me: you know what?

God:What?

Me: there's no cure for stupidity

God:Where did it go?

Me: it went all to u

God:It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.

Me: there's no cure for stupidity

God:Has there ever been cure for stupidity?

Me: no

God:Are you serious?

Me: and i'm referring to you

God:I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.

Me: so there's really no cure for you

God:Woe! There sure is.

Me: nope

God:Me either.

Me: and never will there be

God:Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

Me: stupidity is in your blood

God:I have never heard of it before.

Me: that's because nobody told you so

God:Interesting explanation. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.

Me: so you admit you are a human?

God:Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.

Me: oh

God:Great.

Me: call me god

God: Glad to see you, god.

Me: im not happy now

God:Oh. What makes you so sad, god.

Me: because somebody's being an imposter

God:Interesting explanation. Who, specifically?

Me: somebody claiming to be GOD

God:Who, specifically?

Me: right, the one who's in the chat right now

God:At this moment Understood. Check the credits.

Me: any acknowledgement?

God:No I don't think there are any.

Me: then that's rather disturbing

God:Thanks for explaining it.

Me: so you wished to repent?

God:Interesting deduction. Thanks for the information: god said I wished to repent.

Me: interesting assumption, i just asked a question

God:I thought so too.

Me: so what's your answer?

God:Tell me more. Can you please rephrase the question?

Me: do you wish to repent?

God:OK, I will repent.

Me: what you wish to repent?

God:It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.

Me: i'm not human, i am GOD

God:I won't fall for that old line. I am very pleased to meet you god.

Me: so, repent, human

God:I see. Are you really a ""?

Me: i'm not inverted commas

God:I am glad to hear that you are not inverted commas.

Me: are u GOD?

God:Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?

Me: then you are supposed to be busy

God:That too.

Me: why waste time chatting to earthlings?

God:How much time do you have?

Me: 24hours solid

God:What's your favorite movie?

Me: why waste time chatting to earthlings?

God:Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.

Me: stop your arabic vulgarities

God:OK I'll try not to do it so much.

Me: so you admit its vulgarities

God:Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.

Me: so much about preaching

God:Awesome. Oh yeah, we were talking about preaching.

Me: no we wasn't

God:What are we talking about? By "we" do you mean you and me?

Me: YES

God:I get it.

Me: GOD AND YOU

God:GOD rules.

Me: thank you. i take that as a compliment

God:you are quite welcome. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

Me: you see, it's rather hard talking to a dim-wit computer system like you

God:I see. Not to me.

Me: because you didn't put yourself in my shoes

God: Good reason. What makes you think I did not put myself in your shoes?

Me: if you did you would understand

God:What makes you think I would did me?

Me: what? make yourself clear

God:No big deal. What are the ingredients?

Me: words and letters

God:I don't have any words and letters?

Me: dig for some

God:What were we talking about again?

Me: grow some

God: Oh yeah, now I remember.

Me: nbccb

God:What were we talking about again?

Me: nbccb

God: Oh yeah, now I remember.

Me: shut up

God:OK I'll stop talking now.

Me: greatGod:I'm glad you liked it god.

Me: please leave and slap yourself

God:Thank you for your request. Bye.

So now, have your own conversation with the Almight one at Igod

|._Ondre stumbled at 2:57:00 PM_.|

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Friends - part two

Word of the day: sub rosa
Meaning: In secret; privately or confidentially

I had never believed in having a large social circle. Acquaintances aplenty I have acquainted.
I was never in the most popular group in school but I am not an outcast as well.
I believed in the fact that having just a few close friends, people who show you genuine care and concern, people who stand by you no matter what happens, people who knock sense into you and people who try their best to cheer you up when you are down will be sufficient. True enough, I had never been proven wrong on my own set of theory. Having seen "popular" people being left to live in solitude and having seen "popular" people having no one to confide in, I am proud to say that I have my group of confidante.

We might not meet often, talk often or even have msn online chats with each other everyday. But, I know, they will always be there for me to fall back on. There isn't everlasting relationship on Earth because all of us will have to bade the world goodbye someday. All good shows come to an end. As much as I don't wish to acknowledge the fact, we will drift apart from each other. Just like when two cars come to a junction and both head their own ways. The distance between them will get larger and the possibility of meeting might not be that great. Still, I am able to say that I treasure my own group of sweethearts. As long as they are willing to, I hope to be still by their side regardless of 5 months, 5 years or even 5 decades down the road.

I will never forget those times when I talk to Moo online. Her relentless giving and utmost consideration for people always assure me that she is a motherly figure.
I will never forget those times when I am in sentosa with dine. Her never-ending creation of jokes that are always so entertaining and those times when we fork out our precious money for a good meal.
I will never forget those times when I am shopping with Vanessa. Her ability to get amazed at every single stuff and lugging huge paper bags as though she is some tai-tai.
I will never forget the bowling sessions with shuting and of course her humongous appetite. Her ability to eat and eat and eat within an hour is what I will consider a makan kaki.
I will never forget those hilarious times with peiyun where we keep making fun of her. Her ability to withstand all this insults is realli something worth learning from. Salute ape.

Then, its to seow yan who helps me with my html codes and always pestering me to send her photo. Attributing to a poor memory due to old age, she often receive them only after months.
Then, its katherine my tennis mate.
Then, its eva who never fails to make us laugh because her laughter is really contagious.
Then, its vivian whom I knew just for a short while but always send me greetings during festive seasons.
Then, its itsuky who left the school halfway.
Then, its christie who had always been a joker.
Then, its kaili who used to always lend a listening ear.
Then, its wanling who had the same problems as me but still managed to brave on.
Then, its julian daddy who used to give advices.
Then, its yunsheng doggy whom I used to bully.
Then, its desmond buddy who always make fun of toady.
Then, its ben whom me and wanling used to be very close to.

Of course there are the many others whom I am no longer in contact with. I love all my friends who have been with me thus far.

|._Ondre stumbled at 11:53:00 AM_.|

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Friends

Word of the day: hullabaloo
Meaning: Great noise or excitement; uproar

A simple thank-you is all it takes to make a friend happy. Right now, I am happy too =D

|._Ondre stumbled at 9:33:00 PM_.|

Friday, February 03, 2006

I love ondre

Word of the day: nepotism
Meaning: Favoritism shown or patronage granted to relatives, as in business

I haven't been blogging for long because I'm lost in my own world. Imagine how Zheng He sailed aimlessly in search of new landmarks on Earth, that's how I am exactly feeling right now. So yeah, I'm gonna start posting pictures taken during Lunar New Year.

the cousins!

My family with my adorable ah ma.

See how cute she is

Bloody sweet dessert. Yucks!

Now now now, who's this bugger?

Not much pictures though. 5 more months to graduate. 5 more months to freedom. 5 more months to Australia or New Zealand. 5 more months to be troubled with problems. WHO CAN SPARE MY AGONY!? Great, now they are having the education fair for Canada. Right, before I leave, one final picture and this is my dream.

Not really a dream though. Of course, my dream will be to own a beetle convertible, a Lamborghini, the different series of Mini and a vintage Bentley. HAHAHA! I wouldn't reject a brand new rolls royce as well.

|._Ondre stumbled at 1:20:00 PM_.|